What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


By Elton Beard

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who divide people into two kinds and those who don't. I don't.


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ARCHIVE ARCHIVE ARCHIVE

Sunday, May 9, 2004
8:00 PM PT

Ahmad Chalabi explains the problem with torture to Wolf Blitzer. And it's not the lack of efficacy. From today's CNN Late Edition:

BLITZER: Do you understand why, apparently, some thought it was necessary to have these prisoners stripped naked and humiliated in the way they were as a potential way to soften them up and get them to talk about secret information that they may still have had? Has someone explained why it was necessary to do that, if that was an effective technique?

CHALABI: This is -- under no circumstances this can be done. It is abhorrible that people are subjected to this. These are methods that Saddam had used, and we rejected them completely. We don't want them, and there are no circumstances which would permit the use of such methods to extract information. There is no such justification for this behavior at all.

Well, at least Chalabi gets it.

3:00 PM PT

Shorter Kenneth Starr:
'Under God,' and Under the Constitution
  • The government should instruct all schoolchildren to profess a belief that my chosen deity is their lord and master, and those who believe otherwise can just shut up.

Thursday, May 6, 2004
11:15 AM PT

Shorter Max Boot:
The U.S. Loses by Quitting in Fallouja
  • I love it when Mr. Bush talks tough, but his failure to penetrate Falluja leaves me frustrated.

11:00 AM PT

Shorter Jeff Jacoby:
Abandoning Gaza won't end terrorism
  • I love it when Ariel Sharon talks tough, but his premature capitulation on Gaza leaves me frustrated.

10:00 AM PT

Shorter Tom Friedman:
Restoring Our Honor
  • The buck stops on Don Rumsfeld's desk.

Wednesday, May 5, 2004
3:00 PM PT

Shorter William Safire:
The Comeback Likudnik
  • Jeopardy Edition:

    What is the sound of one hack conversing?

Tuesday, May 4, 2004
8:00 AM PT

Shorter Bill O'Reilly:
Dissent Stinks if It Exploits the Pain of GIs
  • Turning actual human beings into mincemeat while waging an unprovoked war is one thing, but maiming a beloved cartoon character to make a political point is way over the line.

Monday, May 3, 2004
3:00 PM PT

Not Claude Raines. CNN's Wolf Blitzer explains why this whole torture thing is quite routine, really. But as is his wont, he frames the polemic as a question:


BLITZER: But let me interrupt, Dr. Kissinger. Let me interrupt, Dr. Kissinger, and say this: Everyone is saying, "shocked, shocked." They're totally shocked by this. But you know the nature of interrogation of prisoners, prisoners who were suspected of knowing information that could result in the deaths of American soldiers, to humiliate them to stop just short of formally torturing them. Hasn't that been going on in every war?

Mr. Blitzer, as you can see, is not shocked, not shocked at all by a little wartime torture. So move along, folks. Nothing to see here.

Home


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2007
December          
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July  30      9  
June          
May          
April  2        
March  5        
February  5 12 19 26  
January  1  8 15 22 29
 
2005
December 5 12 19 26  
November   7 14 21 28
October 3 10 17 24 31
September 5 12 17 26  
August 1 8 15   29
July 5 12      
June   6 13 20 27
May       23 30
April 4 11 18 25  
March   7 14 21  
February   7   21 28
January 3   17 24 31
2006
December          
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September   11 18 25  
August   7     28
July 3 10 17 24 31
June 5 12 19 26  
May   8 15 22 29
April 3 10 17 24  
March   6 13 20 27
February   6 13 20 27
January 2 9 16 23 30
2003
December 1 8 15    
November 3 10 17 24  
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August 4 11 18 25  
July 7 14 21 28  
June 2 9 16 23 30
May 5 12 19 26  
April 7 14 21 28  
March 3 17   31  
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January 6 13 20 27  
2004
December   6 13 20  
November 1 8 15 22 29
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September H 6 13 20 27
August I A T U S
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May 3 10 17 24 31
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March 1 8 15 22 29
February 2 9 16 23  
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2001
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2002
December 2 9 16 23 30
November 4 11 18 25  
October 7 14 21 28  
September   9 16 23  
August 5 12 19    
July 1 8 15 22 29
June 3 10   24  
May 6 13 20    
April 1     22  
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Busy, busy, busy.

What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


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