What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


By Elton Beard

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who divide people into two kinds and those who don't. I don't.


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ARCHIVE ARCHIVE ARCHIVE

Thursday, November 7, 2002
1:00 PM PT

This is not a joke. Thus spake Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe:

Folks, Democrats are in good shape and we look forward to the upcoming cycle.
Terry McAuliffe
Is he looking forward to the spin cycle or the wash cycle? McAuliffe doesn't specify, but true to the progressive spirit of his party, he's proud of having made no regress for the past two years:
So where do we find ourselves now? Basically, the same place we were after the 2000 elections - fifty-fifty. Parity. Not much has changed.
And McAuliffe brings us more good news:
It was an extraordinary night for Democratic gubernatorial candidates. Fifty-five percent of Americans woke up today having a Democratic governor.
Always an optimist, the Democrat's chief tactician uses the conditional to describe the state of the contest between Republicans and his own party:
If the Republicans had an edge over us yesterday, it was tactical rather than ideological.
But of course - with no ideology, there can be no ideological defeat. Now if the Democrats can just pull off the same trick with tactics, they will be doubly invincible!

Unfortunately, the Republicans have a geographical edge:

As I said, the Republicans' advantage was a tactical advantage, not an issue advantage. Last night's results simply don't reflect an ideological tip in favor of the Republicans...They clearly had the home field advantage.

Bush has not changed the map, and he has not solidified the vote for Republicans.

If the elections could be held in a country with no Republicans, Democrats would surely do much better. But that's not really an option, and McAuliffe is nothing if not a realist:
Ultimately, many of our candidates couldn't overcome the political muscle that carried many Republicans over the finish line. They had a wartime president with the highest sustained approval ratings in history, who made these elections his number-one domestic priority.
So McAuliffe takes full responsibility for the outcome of his strategy:
I'm not sure what we did wrong. We faced a very popular president who campaigned more than any other president.
And so it goes. But despite the minor setback of having lost control of the Senate and further diminished its numbers in the House, the Democratic Party is in fine form and looks forward to the next election cycle with the same bold, effective leadership at the helm. As a triumphant politician recently said, let's roll!

Wednesday, November 6, 2002
1:00 AM PT


 

Daschle, Gephardt: 'political strategy is working'


Sen. Tom Daschle and Rep. Richard Gephardt plan to disarm Republican criticism by offering no opposition.

WASHINGTON (CNN) - As cable networks projected continued Republican dominance of the House and a Republican takeover of the Senate, two leading Democrats met with reporters to announce that 'everything is going according to plan' and the future of the Democratic Party looks bright.

Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle expressed optimism about Democratic prospects for the next elections, saying that "our strategy of leaving no daylight between ourselves and the president is clearly working. Although in today's election the voters were still able to distinguish Republicans from Democrats, resulting in some lost seats for us, I'm confident that by 2004 we will regain our lead by becoming utterly indistinguishable from Republicans."

House Minority Leader Richard Gephardt was also pleased with the election results, which effectively narrow the field of potential competitors for the 2004 Democratic presidential nomination. "As the Democrat most supportive of President Bush, I obviously have the best chance of being elected to replace him" he explained, adding that "voters aren't stupid. Once they realize that I agree with the president on everything, and that I'm much better looking, naturally they'll vote for me instead."

The Democratic leaders also expressed satisfaction at the prospect of being completely powerless for the next two years, since that "pulled the rug right out from under the Republicans" who will no longer be able to label the Democrats as obstructionists. "With no power come no responsibilities" chuckled Daschle, "so they can't blame us for anything anymore. When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose."

Tuesday, November 5, 2002
2:00 PM PT
Santa Monica by Alexander Chen
Voting has always been a pleasant experience for me here in Santa Monica, and for the last few years a delicious one as well - my polling place has great dim-sum. The only difference this year is that I was politely reminded to check for hanging chads. No problem.


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Busy, busy, busy.

What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


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