What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


By Elton Beard

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who divide people into two kinds and those who don't. I don't.


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ARCHIVE ARCHIVE ARCHIVE

Saturday, July 19, 2003
5:00 PM PT

Shorter Casper W. Weinberger:
Anatomy of a Campaign

  • Perfidious tea-drinker Joseph C. Wilson tried but failed to trick the honest Mr. Bush into omitting from his speech the story of Iraq's quest for African uranium.

Notes:

1. Ambassador Joseph Wilson holds the Department of Defense Distinguished Service Award and Department of State Superior and Meritorious Honor Awards for, among other things, successfully negotiating the release of several hundred American hostages from Iraq during Gulf War I.

2. Former Defense Secretary Casper Weinberger is an indicted Iran/Contra co-conspirator pardoned in advance of his trial by then-President George H. W. Bush in December 1992.

Friday, July 18, 2003
12:30 PM PT


 
 
 

Shorter Charles Krauthammer:
Why Did Bush Go to War?

  • Bush scrupulously avoided saying anything that might have conveyed the impression of an imminent threat from Saddam Hussein, since he knew there wasn't one.

Credit D2 for inventing the Shorter.

And don't miss today's Shorter Don Rumsfeld at Sisyphus Shrugged.

Thursday, July 17, 2003
10:00 PM PT

A riddle, unless it's an enigma. In what may have been a slip of the tongue, Mr. Bush's answer to a reporter's question about the absent Iraqi WMD included this:

But we will bring the weapons and, of course -- we will bring the information forward on the weapons when they find them. And that will end up -- end all this speculation.
If he meant what he said, it would certainly explain why both Mr. Bush and Prime Minister Blair have such intense faith that banned weaponry will ultimately be found in Iraq. But in that case, is what he said subsequently still a tautology?
And we based our decisions on good, sound intelligence. And the -- our people are going to find out the truth, and the truth will say that this intelligence was good intelligence. There's no doubt in my mind.
This may be technically tautological without rising to the level expected of a presidential tautology, because you needn't rely on circularity for proof when you own a pudding factory.

4:00 PM PT

President Responsibility. From today's Q/A session with Mr. Bush and P.M. Blair:

REPORTER: Mr. President, others have said that those words about Iraq and Africa did not belong in your State of the Union address. Will you take personal responsibility for those words? [...second, unrelated question]

MR. BUSH: Well, first, I take responsibility for putting our troops into action. And I made that decision because Saddam Hussein was a threat to our security and a threat to other nations. I take responsibility for, making the decision, the tough decision to put together a coalition to remove Saddam Hussein. Because the intelligence, not only our
intelligence but the intelligence of this great country [gesturing towards P.M. Blair], made a clear and compelling case that Saddam Hussein was a threat to security and peace. I say that because he possessed chemical weapons and biological weapons. I strongly believe he was trying to reconstitute his nuclear weapons programs. And I will remind the skeptics that in 1991 it became clear that Saddam was much closer to developing a nuclear weapon than anyone had imagined. He was a threat. I take responsibility for dealing with that threat. We're in a war against terror. And we will continue to fight the war against terror. We're after al- Qaeda, as the Prime Minister accurately noted and we're dismantling al-Qaeda. The removal of Saddam Hussein is an integral part of winning the war against terror. A free Iraq will make it much less likely that we will find violence in that immediate neighborhood. A free Iraq will make it more likely we'll get a Middle-Eastern peace. A free Iraq will have incredible influence on the states that could potentially unleash terrorist activity on us. And, yeah, I take responsibility for making the decisions I made.

The portion of Mr. Bush's response in which he takes responsibility for his own words is highlighted in bold.

Update: Earlier today, Josh Marshall noticed White House press secretary Scott McClellan exhibiting the same syndrome during a briefing.

11:00 AM PT

Shorter Pat Robertson:
Appealing to a Higher Power

  • My belief system is backed by a powerful deity who will destroy you if you don't submit to my will, while yours is merely an opinion.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003
9:00 PM PT


 

Shorter Anne Applebaum:
A Coalition That Dare Not Speak Its Name

  • Many governments actually support the Bush administration but can't reveal this to their own citizens, who fail to conflate the fight against al-Qaeda with the unprovoked invasion of Iraq.

11:00 AM PT


 

Shorter Tom Friedman:
Winning the Real War

  • The real problem with Bush's phony Iraq war rationale is that its exposure has distracted the administration from following my prescription for converting Iraq into a flowering democracy.

9:00 AM PT


 
 

Shorter Max Boot:
Clinton Got a Pass but Bush Is Taken to Task

  • Republicans always gave President Clinton the benefit of the doubt, yet Democrats have launched outrageous ad hominem attacks on Mr. Bush for his tiny - and carefully hedged - State of the Union boo-boo.

Monday, July 14, 2003
9:00 PM PT

Another failure of intelligence? At the end of the session from which the quote posted immediately below was extracted, Mr. Bush also said this:

The larger point is, and the fundamental question is, did Saddam Hussein have a weapons program? And the answer is, absolutely. And we gave him a chance to allow the inspectors in, and he wouldn't let them in. And, therefore, after a reasonable request, we decided to remove him from power, along with other nations, so as to make sure he was not a threat to the United States and our friends and allies in the region.
Huh? UNMOVIC inspectors had been sent back to Iraq in November of 2002 and were reporting good Iraqi cooperation until Bush's unilateral '48 hours' war ultimatum forced them to leave in March 2003. Who forgot to tell Mr. Bush about that?


4:00 PM PT

True Quote: George W. Bush

"When I gave the speech, the line was relevant."

10:00 AM PT

Shorter Wall Street Journal Editorial:
Lack of Intelligence

  • The task of America's intelligence agencies is not to provide policy makers with reliable data but to fabricate evidence in support of administration policies which the public would reject if it knew the truth.

Home


ARCHIVE

2007
December          
November          
October          
September          
August          
July  30      9  
June          
May          
April  2        
March  5        
February  5 12 19 26  
January  1  8 15 22 29
 
2005
December 5 12 19 26  
November   7 14 21 28
October 3 10 17 24 31
September 5 12 17 26  
August 1 8 15   29
July 5 12      
June   6 13 20 27
May       23 30
April 4 11 18 25  
March   7 14 21  
February   7   21 28
January 3   17 24 31
2006
December          
November          
October          
September   11 18 25  
August   7     28
July 3 10 17 24 31
June 5 12 19 26  
May   8 15 22 29
April 3 10 17 24  
March   6 13 20 27
February   6 13 20 27
January 2 9 16 23 30
2003
December 1 8 15    
November 3 10 17 24  
October 6 13 20 27  
September 1 8 15 22 29
August 4 11 18 25  
July 7 14 21 28  
June 2 9 16 23 30
May 5 12 19 26  
April 7 14 21 28  
March 3 17   31  
February 3 17   24  
January 6 13 20 27  
2004
December   6 13 20  
November 1 8 15 22 29
October 4 11 18 25  
September H 6 13 20 27
August I A T U S
July          
June   7 14 21 28
May 3 10 17 24 31
April   5 12 19 26
March 1 8 15 22 29
February 2 9 16 23  
January   12 19 26  
2001
December 3   10    
November 4   11 19 26
October   11      
September          
August          
July          
June          
May          
April          
March          
February          
January                      
2002
December 2 9 16 23 30
November 4 11 18 25  
October 7 14 21 28  
September   9 16 23  
August 5 12 19    
July 1 8 15 22 29
June 3 10   24  
May 6 13 20    
April 1     22  
March 4 11 18 25  
February 4   18 25  
January 6   21 28  


Busy, busy, busy.

What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


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