What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


By Elton Beard

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who divide people into two kinds and those who don't. I don't.


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ARCHIVE ARCHIVE ARCHIVE

Sunday, June 29, 2003
11:00 PM PT

Shorter Charles Krauthammer:
No 'Roe' Replay On Affirmative Action

  • The Supreme Court's affirmative action decision is socially ruinous, a legal travesty, and a good thing as it circumvents a potential Roe-style political backlash against my side.

7:00 PM PT

Shorter Fred Kaplan:
Was Bush Lying About WMD?

  • Don Rumsfeld probably bent the truth because he lacked enough actual evidence to justify a war that he deeply and viscerally desired, but in doing so he was sincerely deluded rather than duplicitous.

Friday, June 27, 2003
11:00 AM PT

Shorter George Will:
Lap Dancing On the Constitution

  • By my logic, private consensual sex is indistinguishable from public sex acts, commercial sex transactions or marriage contracts, so if one is constitutionally protected then all must be outside the purview of the state.

Thursday, June 26, 2003
2:00 PM PT

I Am Michael "Savage" Weiner and I Am Biwaxual.

Me & my wax partner

Correction: Studies at Duke University have conclusively shown that I am not Michael "Savage" Weiner, which means that I am probably not biwaxual either. We both regret the error, but many wax figures are still worried.

Wednesday, June 25, 2003
4:00 PM PT

Shorter Tom Friedman:
Bad Planning

  • The unserious planning for post-war Iraq - and incompetent management of the occupation - may indicate that improving the place was never a high priority for the administration after all.

Wednesday, June 25, 2003
9:00 AM PT

Shorter Colin Powell:
Freeing a Nation From a Tyrant's Grip

  • Look! Over there! In Zimbabwe there is a problem that requires urgent attention.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003
11:00 PM PT

Shorter James Taranto:
Bush and Bollinger

  • Accusing Mr. Bush of lying over his public misrepresentation of critical intelligence is like accusing an attorney of lying for having propounded his best argument in court.

Home


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2005
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2006
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2003
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2004
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Busy, busy, busy.

What bokononists whisper whenever they think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.


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